Salem's Family

Family – a group of individuals that share a common ancestry. When I posted in September that Salem has found her family, I had thought that to mean “our house.” Since then, “Salem has found her family” has taken on a whole new meaning. Salem has found her family, but it consists of a large group of people who share a common ancestry. She will be joining our extended family through a couple who has felt the call of adoption and is following that call. Salem’s name will be Elliana Kate Qiao Gross and she will be the younger sister of Anna Mei, Parker, Jacob and Carter, and the daughter of Rodney and Marcy. Salem and Anna will be virtual twins.

This exciting news has been in the process since the weekend following our devastating news that we could not be her forever family. When I shared with the CHI staff how Salem had become such a special part of our family, as well as our extended family, they immediately asked whether anyone in our extended family were in a position and would want to pursue the adoption of this precious little girl. Some of our siblings would have stepped in and adopted, but due to the strict qualifications of the CCAA, did not qualify. This was hard for some of our siblings to deal with, because they would have done anything in their power to provide a home for this little girl who had stolen our hearts. When I shared with Marcy and Rodney the question posed by CHI and asked them to help us pray about this situation, they expressed an interest, if and only if, we would be comfortable with that. After many prayers, sleepless nights and stunned responses from affected family members, they have made the commitment to adopt Salem.

I know this will come as a shock to many. How and why does this have to happen? Are you sure you can handle the feelings that will come about by this decision? How will you deal with this each time you see her? The questions could go on and on. But the answer lies in knowing that we have made the best choice faced with the options we had. We prayed and asked God to help us find some answers to the questions we were faced with immediately. What is going to happen to this little girl we love so dearly? Will she go to a home and family where she will be loved the way we would have loved her? We could not stand the thought of her file being sent back to China. Our ultimate goal from the beginning was for her to have a family. Yes, we wanted her to be ours, but when faced with the fact that she could not be ours, we wanted the best for her. We know we have made the right decision and she will be loved more than she will even be able to comprehend.

Before posting to the blog about Salem's family receiving their PA, Marcy and I had talked and felt it may not be appropriate to share some of the details of Salem’s story on a public blog. Since then, after letting our family members know the whole story and feeling the love and support of each of them, we feel we can share it with others. We want you to know the love we feel for the children of this world who don’t have a family to call their own. If by seeing the love we have for Salem will convince just one to act on the love and conviction to help another child, that is one more child that will have a family to call their own.

We are still praying and asking God to lead us down the next path He has for us. He has placed a powerful love and strong conviction in our hearts for these children. Where will we go? We are not sure at this time, but we are open to what God desires for our lives. I am thankful I have had Him to lean on during these past several months and I am sure I will need Him for strength and wisdom on how to handle the future.

Thank you for following this blog. Salem means peace, and I am starting to feel peace in everything that has transpired in the past seven months. If you would like to, Rodney and Marcy invite you to follow their journey to bring Elli home. Their blog title is "Journey to Elli" and the address is www.journeytoelli.blogspot.com.

Please help us in sending love and prayers to "Elli" and her soon-to-be-sister. Anna Mei is having her first surgery tomorrow morning to repair her cleft lip/palate and she has an anxious mom and dad who need our prayers. Our prayers are for a quick and pain-free recovery.

Finally a PreApproval for Qing Zu Qioa (Salem)

I received a call on Friday morning from the family adopting Salem letting us know they have received PreApproval from China. The next step for them is to submit the paperwork (dossier) proving they are who they say they are in the initial paperwork (Letter of Intent and Introduction letter). Hopefully they will be able to complete their paperwork quickly.

After learning that the CCAA denied us PreApproval for Salem, I contacted CHI and asked them to please not send her file back to China. I explained to them how deeply we loved her. I told them how she had become a part of a large extended family, including church, work and a community, and the love they feel for her is great. I told them I had asked them to continue to pray for her and for CHI to find a family for her. I asked them to please find a family that will love and cherish her as deeply as we have and would have in the future. I explained to them that I had seen the love that the CHI family has for their children and I want her to be a part of that family. I asked them to please find her a strong Christian family that will teach her scripture and be the support she needs throughout her life. CHI honored every one of those wishes and I will be forever grateful for the love and support I received from them during that time. They were heartbroken for us because of our loss, but the ultimate goal in this whole process was for a little girl to find a forever "family" and that is what has happened.

We have been assured by Salem's family that we will be a part of her life. Our family will have the opportunity to know her. She will at some point in her life know her story. She will know what part we played in her life and how much we loved and cherished the time she spent as "ours" in our hearts. We will continue to love her and pray for her as she grows. She holds a very special place in each of our hearts and the love we have felt for her will never be forgotten and will continue to grow.

To all of those who donated items for the yard sales, bought items in support of our efforts, and donated money to prevent the "vintage couch" from being delivered to your front porch, that money has been forwarded to the family of Qing Zu Qiao. That was money to bring her home, and that is where the funds will be used. We felt very strongly from the beginning that all those funds belonged to her adoption expenses and her family will be using that money to bring her home. Thank you to each one who donated. She will have a forever family partly because of something you contributed.

Salem's family is very excited about their journey to their newest soon-to-be daughter. Please pray for their wisdom, strength, health, guidance, and provisions in order to bring her home soon. They are following a ministry that has been placed on their lives. God has called them to provide a home and family for those in need and we will continue to be supportive of their ministry.

Special prayers for the next step in Salem's life. She has been loved for many months and soon she will feel that love first hand.

Spring fever...but wait

Boy are we getting spring fever around here these days. The weather has been great the past couple of days and I'm ready for the season to change. The only things is, where we live and the time of year, it can be 70 degrees one day and snowing the next. We had our biggest snow of the season last Friday night, went sledding on Saturday, it melted on Sunday, and I rode with the windows down on the vehicle yesterday and today with capris and flip-flops on. I just wonder what tomorrow holds?!?

There has still been no word of the PreApproval for Salem, but the averages say anyday. Everyday that passes is another day she must spend without her family. I know God's timing is perfect in all things, and we trust His timing, but I want to see her with her family, soon.

We are still looking at our options, praying, and waiting. Sometimes God requires us to wait and that wait includes confident expectation and active hope in the Lord. I have faith and hope that God will let us know when, where, how and if we are to proceed. Please pray that nothing will hinder us from hearing His voice when He calls.

Happy Birthday, Issac!!!

Well, it's official. We have a teenager and he has his dancing shoes on again. The boy's basketball team is sponsoring a Sadie Hawkin's Dance tonight and he's there cuttin' a rug or standing on the boy's side of the commons area (I'm not sure which one, but I would guess the first). He turned 13 at 8:27 pm last night while we were at the high school boy's region finals, so we will be celebrating his birthday on Sunday. He and a few of his friends and family are going to a sport's grill/game room. That is what Issac wanted to do, and he is pretty excited about it.

It's hard to believe how fast the time has gone by. It seems it has just been a few days since I made the picture of him playing his guitar. Look at that sweet little face. We love this little boy/young man like only a mother and father can understand. We thank God every day we have been given such a perfect gift and we are SO BLESSED!!!!!!!

When I originally started this blog, we had hoped we would be travelling to China during this month to bring a very special little girl to our home. But our direction has changed. Now we are praying for the PreApproval of another family to bring home the same very special little girl. She deserves to be in a home with a family, and hopefully, she will have a large family with lots of people to love her.

These past six months have been a roller coaster ride, extreme highs followed by extreme lows. God has been with us and given us the strength and courage to face the issues involved with this disappointment. It has not been easy! But I know, I will not have to face more than He will give me the strength to endure. Please continue to pray for Salem's safety and health until she is home, and pray for us as we continue to do as we are led.

Valentine's Day

Well, I was right. Issac gave me the rolling eyes, "my mom's crazy" look when I started reminiscing about the day we found out we had been chosen to be his parents. Little did I know 13 years ago that on this Valentine's night he would be getting ready to go to a Jr. High dance. He is my little Travolta!! We had a great day and hope everyone enjoyed spending time with their special loved ones.

We are still waiting to hear from Salem's family on their PreApproval. It should be anyday now.

News from Salem

Since my last post, the weather in China did let up for a few days and hopefully things will continue to improve. We received news through a phone call to the SWI that she is well and walking. They are keeping them layered and warm. This was good news to hear. We had assumed she was walking because of the pictures we had seen, but the workers at the orphanage confirmed it. Thank you to anyone reading the blog that made a donation to the Half The Sky program.

Thirteen years ago this week, on Valentine's Day, we were contacted by our adoption agency and they gave us the official word that we had been picked by a birthmother. Valentine's Day is a very special day because of this. When we received that news, our lives changed forever. We are so thankful we were given the opportunity to experience the birth and life of a perfect little boy. Issac will be turning 13 in just a few weeks and I cannot believe how fast the years have passed. We will have a teenager in just a matter of days and he is turning into a wonderful young man. On Valentines' Day, I'm sure I will tell him his story of how we received the news that we had been picked. When he was small, he loved his story, then he just thought I was kinda corny. I'm anxious to hear his reaction this year. I love to make him roll his eyes and give me that look like "my mom's crazy." haha It's amazing how much joy comes in making our children think we've lost our minds.

Hugs, love and kisses to everyone on Valentine's Day!!

The Weather in China

I'm sure many of you have seen the crazy weather that China has been experiencing these past 2-3 weeks. There are so many orphanages that are being affected. I have received information from an organization, Half the Sky, that works with several of the orphanages to make sure they have the needed supplies on a regular basis. This organization has helped the Qingyuan SWI, Salem's orphanage, with so many things in the past.

A lady from Half the Sky has been in touch with most of the orphanages and received requests for things such as space heaters, coal, blankets, etc. Some of the nannies have purchased from their own monies and Half the Sky has committed to them they will receive reimbursment for any supplies they purchase during this crisis. Salem's orphanage has requested space heaters and jackets. They have not been affected with snow, but much colder weather than normal and very wet. All the children have colds and they are trying to keep them warm. Please pray for her health. Since I received this information, it has weighed heavy on my mind. Think how you would feel if you received word that a child you love dearly was half way around the world, sick, and there is no one there to just pick her up and hold her and make things all better.

Please pray for her and another little girl, Eliana, the soon-to-be-daughter of a friend of mine in VA. They are in this orphanage and need your prayers.

Here is the link if you want to donate or know more:
http://www.halfthesky.org/work/littlemouse.php

Waiting.....

We are still waiting on some news about Salem's family getting their PreApproval. Hopefully they will have it in the next couple of weeks. If not, it may be the end of February or first of March before they receive it since the Chinese New Year is celebrated in February and the CCAA shuts down for a couple of weeks.

We have been researching and discussing our options concerning foreign adoption. We need to make some decisions and from the information we have received from four countries, do not feel we should proceed with any of them. They are very risky programs, dealing with new countries, and because of our past losses, we are not ready for such a big risk. I want to proceed only when God prompts, and right now, we feel we need to just wait and see. For what, I don't know, just wait.

This past month has been difficult. My emotions have been everywhere - sad, angry, depressed, lost, hurt, fine, anxious, you name it, I've probably been there. I've questioned everything that happened during this adoption process and there have been times that my human mind has wanted to just chalk it up to coincidence, but I believe very strongly things happen for a reason. I am trying to find the reasoning in it all, but I can't see the big picture. Some day I hope to look back and see how all things have come together perfectly, but looking ahead, I don't see it yet. I have faith that someday I will. I never want to waiver in my faith of what God can and will do and that He has our best interests at heart. We have a room in our home and love in our hearts to share with another child that needs it if that is God's will.

I hope to be able to share with you soon the news of Salem's family. It's still hard to think she will not be in our home, but this journey was not about us. It was about her finding a family, and I pray that will be very soon.

Salem has found her family...

Next to her name it once again reads "has found her family." Once we have more information, I will share it with all of you. Please pray that paperwork moves very quickly so she will have a home soon.

Our family celebrated the first birthday of our little Princess Presley, my brother and sister-in-law's first child. As you can see from the photos below, she is definitely a princess.

I will continue to post to this blog for a time. Please continue to pray for Salem and so many others waiting for their families all over the world. I do not want our experience to discourage anyone from pursuing adoption. It is an absolutely wonderful, life-changing experience with a great reward for both the child and the parents. There are so many children that need the love of a family, and if you have the heart of adoption, follow your heart.

Salem has been matched...placement pending

Those are the words next to Salem's name now. Immediately after our news was shared with the adoption community, there were many inquiries concerning her future. Many couples looking to adopt were inquiring about her and her status. There is a family that is completing the preliminary paperwork in order to receive the Pre-Approval from China. They meet all the requirements according to the interpreted regulations of the CCAA, and should receive the Pre-Approval in the next 4-6 weeks. Salem's status could change anyday to "Salem has found her family." I am very thankful that someone stepped up quickly and has chosen to make her a permanent part of their family. She will be a blessing to any family she joins and I hope she will be blessed with a wonderful family.

This is a bittersweet situation. It's very hard for my simple mind to process the complex ways of God, but I have to believe He has all things ordered and in His time. When we received the news two weeks ago, I immediately asked God "Why?" I felt so strongly that I had followed His leading. Where did I go wrong? Why is this happening to us again? I blamed myself because I had put my husband, son and family through this horrible whirlwind of emotions. Some say we should never question God. But God knows me. He created me. He knows how I react and hurt. He also knew when we started this process, what the outcome would be. If my earthly father led me into a hurtful situation, I would question him as to why he did it. He might give me an answer that I wouldn't understand as a child, but he did it because he knows best. To me, that's the same way with God, our Heavenly Father. I have asked and I don't have an answer. This week, someone told me instead of asking "Why?" ask "What...do you want me to learn from this?" and "Where do you want me to go from here?" I STILL feel like God lead us to this point. I don't know why, what or where, but we are praying for the answers to those questions. We don't have to have the answers to all of those questions, but some we do need answers to.

Please help us pray for wisdom. We want to continue to follow as God leads, even if we have to face difficult situations. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28.

Also continue to pray for Salem. She is a very special little girl whose life has touched many. I believe God has a special place for her and a ministry through her story. She had a rough start in life and up to this point has found a special place in every heart she has touched. From the workers with Love Without Boundries, to the foster family, to the CHI family and then our family, she has brought many people from various places together. There is a Chinese legend that says when a child is born, an invisible red thread connects that child's soul to all those people, present and future, who will play a part in that child's life. I strongly believe we are connected to her by that red thread. I don't know how and what part of her life we may play, but she has definitely played a very important part in our life.

Sending lots of love and prayers to Salem and her forever family.

Beginning a New Year

2007 ended and 2008 started completely different than what we had planned. We have a lot of emotions to deal with, but we can feel so many prayers being prayed for us. We really need your prayers over the next few days, weeks and months. We have decisions that need to be made immediately, some we have a few weeks to make and then others that may take a few months to fully decide. Our first prayers and decisions concern how we handle the emotions of Salem (Cassi) finding her forever family. We cannot be her forever family although we feel such a strong love and connection to her. This has been very hard to accept and process these past few days and I know we still have a long way to go, but we are grieving and healing with time. Our families are having difficulty dealing with this also, because we all think of her as "our" Cassi. We have to come to terms with these feelings and move forward because she needs a family and that is what our prayers need to be. After all, that is what the whole adoption process is about, a child who needs a home, finding their place. Please help us pray for these next few days that Salem will find her place. She deserves to be able to spend next Christmas and birthday with her family.