Waiting.....

We are still waiting on some news about Salem's family getting their PreApproval. Hopefully they will have it in the next couple of weeks. If not, it may be the end of February or first of March before they receive it since the Chinese New Year is celebrated in February and the CCAA shuts down for a couple of weeks.

We have been researching and discussing our options concerning foreign adoption. We need to make some decisions and from the information we have received from four countries, do not feel we should proceed with any of them. They are very risky programs, dealing with new countries, and because of our past losses, we are not ready for such a big risk. I want to proceed only when God prompts, and right now, we feel we need to just wait and see. For what, I don't know, just wait.

This past month has been difficult. My emotions have been everywhere - sad, angry, depressed, lost, hurt, fine, anxious, you name it, I've probably been there. I've questioned everything that happened during this adoption process and there have been times that my human mind has wanted to just chalk it up to coincidence, but I believe very strongly things happen for a reason. I am trying to find the reasoning in it all, but I can't see the big picture. Some day I hope to look back and see how all things have come together perfectly, but looking ahead, I don't see it yet. I have faith that someday I will. I never want to waiver in my faith of what God can and will do and that He has our best interests at heart. We have a room in our home and love in our hearts to share with another child that needs it if that is God's will.

I hope to be able to share with you soon the news of Salem's family. It's still hard to think she will not be in our home, but this journey was not about us. It was about her finding a family, and I pray that will be very soon.

Salem has found her family...

Next to her name it once again reads "has found her family." Once we have more information, I will share it with all of you. Please pray that paperwork moves very quickly so she will have a home soon.

Our family celebrated the first birthday of our little Princess Presley, my brother and sister-in-law's first child. As you can see from the photos below, she is definitely a princess.

I will continue to post to this blog for a time. Please continue to pray for Salem and so many others waiting for their families all over the world. I do not want our experience to discourage anyone from pursuing adoption. It is an absolutely wonderful, life-changing experience with a great reward for both the child and the parents. There are so many children that need the love of a family, and if you have the heart of adoption, follow your heart.

Salem has been matched...placement pending

Those are the words next to Salem's name now. Immediately after our news was shared with the adoption community, there were many inquiries concerning her future. Many couples looking to adopt were inquiring about her and her status. There is a family that is completing the preliminary paperwork in order to receive the Pre-Approval from China. They meet all the requirements according to the interpreted regulations of the CCAA, and should receive the Pre-Approval in the next 4-6 weeks. Salem's status could change anyday to "Salem has found her family." I am very thankful that someone stepped up quickly and has chosen to make her a permanent part of their family. She will be a blessing to any family she joins and I hope she will be blessed with a wonderful family.

This is a bittersweet situation. It's very hard for my simple mind to process the complex ways of God, but I have to believe He has all things ordered and in His time. When we received the news two weeks ago, I immediately asked God "Why?" I felt so strongly that I had followed His leading. Where did I go wrong? Why is this happening to us again? I blamed myself because I had put my husband, son and family through this horrible whirlwind of emotions. Some say we should never question God. But God knows me. He created me. He knows how I react and hurt. He also knew when we started this process, what the outcome would be. If my earthly father led me into a hurtful situation, I would question him as to why he did it. He might give me an answer that I wouldn't understand as a child, but he did it because he knows best. To me, that's the same way with God, our Heavenly Father. I have asked and I don't have an answer. This week, someone told me instead of asking "Why?" ask "What...do you want me to learn from this?" and "Where do you want me to go from here?" I STILL feel like God lead us to this point. I don't know why, what or where, but we are praying for the answers to those questions. We don't have to have the answers to all of those questions, but some we do need answers to.

Please help us pray for wisdom. We want to continue to follow as God leads, even if we have to face difficult situations. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28.

Also continue to pray for Salem. She is a very special little girl whose life has touched many. I believe God has a special place for her and a ministry through her story. She had a rough start in life and up to this point has found a special place in every heart she has touched. From the workers with Love Without Boundries, to the foster family, to the CHI family and then our family, she has brought many people from various places together. There is a Chinese legend that says when a child is born, an invisible red thread connects that child's soul to all those people, present and future, who will play a part in that child's life. I strongly believe we are connected to her by that red thread. I don't know how and what part of her life we may play, but she has definitely played a very important part in our life.

Sending lots of love and prayers to Salem and her forever family.

Beginning a New Year

2007 ended and 2008 started completely different than what we had planned. We have a lot of emotions to deal with, but we can feel so many prayers being prayed for us. We really need your prayers over the next few days, weeks and months. We have decisions that need to be made immediately, some we have a few weeks to make and then others that may take a few months to fully decide. Our first prayers and decisions concern how we handle the emotions of Salem (Cassi) finding her forever family. We cannot be her forever family although we feel such a strong love and connection to her. This has been very hard to accept and process these past few days and I know we still have a long way to go, but we are grieving and healing with time. Our families are having difficulty dealing with this also, because we all think of her as "our" Cassi. We have to come to terms with these feelings and move forward because she needs a family and that is what our prayers need to be. After all, that is what the whole adoption process is about, a child who needs a home, finding their place. Please help us pray for these next few days that Salem will find her place. She deserves to be able to spend next Christmas and birthday with her family.

Prayers for Salem

I don't even know what words to use to break the following news to all of you reading this blog. We received the news this morning that after much discussion and debate over our Letter of Intent, we have been denied the Pre-Approval to adopt from China. In May of 2007, the CCAA issued new regulations concerning those eligible to adopt from China, and we met the regulations according to the interpretation published. However, some of the top officials have said that the interpretation published was different than the meaning of the rules and will not allow us to adopt from China.



I am so sorry that I have to share this news with all of you. It hurts so bad!!! We have had so much support and I can never thank each one of you enough for all you have done. The encouraging and excited words you have spoken to us, the kinds acts, the love you have shown for us and for a special little two-year-old half way around the world, will never be forgotten. Please continue to pray for her. She has become a part of our hearts and we want her to have a "forever family." We are hoping that our agency can keep her file and find her a family soon. I feel comfort in the possibility that Stefani and her staff, with Children's House International, will find her a family that can love her and cherish her as much as we did and would have in the future. She has taken a portion of every heart who has followed our story and concering her future, I know she will have many prayers going up on her behalf.



Please pray for Richie, Issac and me. We are searching for answers we may never find. I pray that God will heal many broken hearts and once again give us the peace we need. Help us in sending much love and prayers to our precious little Salem.

Happy 2nd Birthday Cassi!

The following is a very special poem written by Marcy, Anna Mei's mom, in honor of Cassi's birthday.

Happy Birthday Cassi

We'll sing a little song today
though you are not here
to wish you Happy #2
and a very special year

For this year will be so different
from any one before
you'll finally met your family
that couldn't love you anymore

So Happy Birthday Cassi
from across the Pacific blue
Let's celebrate this day with her
For Bobbye's baby is turning 2!!!!

Marcy in KY (very proud cousin)

This was posted to the agency's waiting kids yahoo group in celebration of Cassi's birthday. We spent most of her day, out and about, thinking about her and enjoying the relaxing time off work. I can't help but think how different next year will be.

We did receive our approval from the USCIS in the mail on Christmas Eve and I took it and had it notorized and authenticated today. We are ready to finish up the authentication process and hope we have our PA very, very soon so we can send our dossier to China.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas with family and friends. We sure did!!!!!! I'll try to get some photos on here soon.

Sending birthday love, hugs and kisses to a very special two-year-old!!!!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

For all reading this, we wish you a very Merry Christmas! We just celebrated our Christmas at home and Issac seems to be very happy. He is in his room now watching the Santa Claus 3 movie and putting away his other things. Yesterday was spent with Richie's dad, step-mom, his three sisters, and their spouses and children. We are very blessed to have large families with lots of children, but the only thing is we don't get to spend as much time with them as we wish we could. I got to play "Are you smarter than a fifth grader?" with some of the kids and we won a million dollars. (Now I guess I just wait for the check to come in the mail. ha ha)

Today after attending our annual Christmas breakfast at church and enjoying the children's Christmas program, we celebrated with Richie's mom, step-dad, his other sisters, spouses, nieces, nephews, and children. We had one celebrating his first Christmas this year, 4-month-old, Alexander, and everyone was oooohing and aaaahing over him. We played the Dirty Santa game, and I drew the #3, which is not a good #, so I went and got an ink pen out and changed my # to a higher one. Of course I had to confess after almost getting away with it, but it was worth a laugh.

Monday and Tuesday we have more family gatherings and will be quite busy, but we are spending time with family and that is what the holidays are all about. When we contacted the agency last week to ask about our PA, they told us they hope to know something by Monday, so we are hoping for a Christmas miracle. After all that has happened over the past 5-6 years, and then two years ago when I received the CD with the Christmas song "All I Really Want for Christmas," on Cassi's actual birth day, nothing would be more fitting than the actual PA from the CCAA saying that we can move forward with the adoption of the birthday girl.

Take a little extra time this Christmas to be especially thankful for your family and children. There are so many little ones that never celebrate special occasions with a family of their own and the sad truth is, there are so many of us that never even think about it or realize it. Until we adopted Issac and then had the burden for other children, I just had gone through life without really thinking about how I can help change the life of other children. Every child deserves a family to call their own and we can all help in some way. Whether it's supporting a family that has made the step of faith to adopt or foster, or maybe you realize that you have room in your house for another, do something to make a difference.

Once again, thank you to everyone who has been and are continuing to be so supportive in our life changing journey. Your thoughts, prayers, kind acts and words of encouragement mean more than you will ever know. Tonight and for the next few days, Cassi will especially be on our hearts and minds. I may not have the time to post again until after Christmas and her birthday, but please keep us in your prayers. Love your family and have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!